Viva La Diva
[ad_1] Late September 2006 Thanks for reading Lori’s Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work. I sat at my desk, scratching my head, up to my boobs in catalogues and line sheets, trying to source the perfect pair of casual blue socks with the following specifications from an actor, and the costume designer, for “the magic foot” number of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee running at the Circle in the Square theater on West 50th Street: not too thick, but not too thin; not a dress sock, and not an athletic sock; not wool, 100% cotton; more Midnight Blue than Admiral Blue, but not Oxford blue; no seams in the toes; non binding elastic top, cheap; fast; good quality. The character uses an unusual technique of spelling words on the floor with his foot during the Spelling Bee -“an alphabetic way to spell,” so the sock had the spotlight. Whatever socks had worked for the previous actors in that role, seemed not to meet the approval of the current dude, so the wardrobe head called me and asked me to investigate “options.” My work, my life, is always about finding more, better, different options for the picayune peculiarities of the personalities trodding the boards on and off Broadway. Perhaps it’s an occupational hazard that, when I see a show, I’m looking for, or focus on, the base layers beneath the costumes, or in the case of Spelling Bee, a single sock. I couldn’t tell one sock from another from my seat in the audience, but then again, I wasn’t the one wearing them. I see the bra where others see only cleavage. Wardrobe and design people I know are even more narrowly focused on whether zippers or buttons are period appropriate. When I saw Freud’s Last Session, the actor’s wig kept shrinking back on his skull throughout the first act, revealing more and more of his bald pate, and I wondered if other audience members saw the slippage, or if only theater insiders saw the Topstick failure. My detective work was happily interrupted when we got a phone call with an extraordinary invitation. “Hey Lori! It’s Brendan, long time no speak.” Brendan was a sweet young man from the midwest who came to New York to work in the theater business. He was a wardrobe professional, mainly for touring productions of large and small shows, and other live entertainment. Wardrobe supervisors are the keepers of the clothes, and they were my primary contact once the design team moved out of the picture. “Brendan, hi, yes, it has been a long time. You were working on Hairspray last time I heard from you. Whatcha been up to? Still on the road, touring?” “I’m working with Barbra Streisand now! Her voice is still A- May-zing. Listen, that’s why I’m calling. I need to memo some undergarments for her, some slimmers, you know? But more importantly, I have some exciting news! ”So we’re in Philly and she’s giving her first live concert in many years, and taking her show on the road. Her stage fright is legendary, right? Well, for the first time e-v-e-r she’s agreed to an invited dress rehearsal. The crew, well, I have been asked to invite a friendly, theater loving crowd of insiders so she can rehearse in front of live bodies, give her a feel for it before she has to perform in front of thousands of people! “Would you like to come to see Barbra? I have 4 tickets I can give you. It’s next Wednesday afternoon at the Wachovia Center in Philly.” “Brilliant. Brendan, that’s brilliant. You’re in the big time now, very impressive! You know, Al and and I have only been out of the shop together once, and that was to attend Steve Kleiser’s funeral a few years ago. Did you know Steve from Urinetown?” “No. Never met him.” “Helluva nice guy. Died from liver failure from the chemical cocktail he took to keep his HIV under control. Shame.” “That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear it. So do you guys want to see Barbra?” “Holy crap! That’s awesome! Thank you so much for thinking of us!” We chatted a while, and Brendan caught us up on his life with the bus and trucks. “So you’ll come? You guys take such good care of us on the road, and I wanted to do something for you.” That touched me; we rarely got recognition for our efforts, and hardly ever got thanked. And what could be more perfect than getting freebies to see BarBRA? “Well hell yes we will come! Oh my god, Barbra Streisand! If we have to close for the day, we will be there. I’m looking forward to seeing you. Hey, does the diva need anything else in the way of underwear?” “Yes, we need help, but I’ve only just looked at all the clothes today. I’ll have to call you later when I have a better idea what we need. Just some shapers, for now.” “We can hand deliver for you Brendan! Thank you so much. I’m very excited!” I jotted down the sizes La Diva said she wore, with the caveat, she hated wearing bras. I thought 36D. She liked 38C. Though they be sister sizes, the 38 band size, alas, would be too big, and thus, unsupportive, and yes, the word I hate, “comfortable.” A bra is only uncomfortable when it is the wrong fit! I had been a Streisand fan since I was a little girl and heard her songs on AM radio. Then Barbra on Ed Sullivan. Then Funny Girl. My parents had a few of her albums, and when they played her records instead of watching TV, Dad was more than likely feeling frisky. Barbra was a Brooklyn girl, Erasmus Hall graduate, Flatbush. My Grandma Helen kvelled over Barbra, whose voice melted the ice of Helen’s heart. As a teenager, when my parents went out for the night







